


I wanna lay you down on a bed of roses (and if your boyfriend wants to join in that's fine too)

by Hepzheba



Series: Tumblr ficlets [20]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (except he's human), Alternate Universe - Human, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Derek and Stiles are Neighbors, Derek is a Failwolf, Human Derek Hale, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Neighbors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-28 00:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2712305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hepzheba/pseuds/Hepzheba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek moves into a new apartment and is not so happy about the fact that he can hear his new neighbor Stiles having... fun with his boyfriend in his bed in the apartment above.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wanna lay you down on a bed of roses (and if your boyfriend wants to join in that's fine too)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [findus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/findus/gifts).
  * Translation into Polski available: [Pragnę położyć cię na łóżku usianym płatkami róż (a jeśli twój chłopak chce się przyłączyć, to również nie będzie problemu)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4966189) by [Pomyluna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomyluna/pseuds/Pomyluna)



> Minnie was having a rough week and I wrote this for her from her prompt "neighbors and hearing the other's squeaky bed".
> 
> Maybe I should warn about failed attempts at threesomes at two different occasions? Nothing really happens though as both attempts are failed, as stated. This one is mostly awkwardness and Derek pining and failing at life. But there's a happy ending.

Derek really enjoys living alone. His apartment's only got a kitchen, a living room, a bedroom and a bathroom – there's no library or dining room like he's used to from his parents' house, but it's his, and therefore so much better.

His neighbors are nice. He carries out Mrs Rodriguez' garbage bag every third day, and gets paid in the most amazing food; Mrs Rodriguez thinks he'll starve if she doesn't feed him because the day he moved in his sister Laura told Mrs Rodriguez Derek couldn't cook. (Why Laura even was there is still a mystery to Derek, she didn't carry a single box.)

Derek lends sugar to the couple Erica and Boyd who live right across from him in the hall once, and then gets cajoled by Erica into inviting Boyd over to watch football. After two Saturdays of watching football together Derek tells Boyd that he actually hates watching football, to which Boyd admits that he does too, it's just that his wife wants him to have non-work related friends. Derek says they can be friends anyway. They pretend to watch football while actually playing scrabble three more Saturdays before Erica finds out and wants to join in. (Erica is quite terrifying, but also kind and hilarious. Derek is used to terrifying from his sisters, but the kindness and hilarious-ness is new.)

The other person living on the second floor is a bleak man in his fifties whose teenage daughter comes to live with him every other week. Derek greets them if he meets them but they're not like Erica and Boyd or Mrs Rodriguez.

The only person from the third and top floor that he's talked to is Stiles. They run in to each other – literally – Derek's first day living in the building and after that they usually stay to chat for a bit if they see each other – unless stiles is running late for his classes which happens at least a couple times a week. Stiles has a long, lean body but his forearms are muscular and do things to Derek (and he's quite sure those long, pale fingers could do quite a few, amazing things to his body). Stiles has a cute upturned nose and moles across his cheeks (and probably across his pale body, Derek would love to see them all). His lips are sinful and pink and they also do things to Derek, especially when a pink tongue darts out to wet them.

Stiles’ eyes are brown. Well, that's probably what it says in his passport. Such a boring name for such captivating eyes. Derek would say that they're gold or amber or maybe the same color as whiskey (some expensive, fine whiskey, not the cheap stuff Derek and Boyd sometimes drink when they want to feel adult and sophisticated) (Erica laughs at them but would most likely join in on the drinking if it wasn't for the baby growing inside of her).

Derek tries to come up with a way to invite Stiles over to their game nights, but before he can man up the courage he meets Scott. Scott seems nice but he's floppy-haired and his jaw's uneven. Stiles seems to be into that though. Stiles seems to be very much into that.

It takes Derek a few minutes of hearing the squeaking sound before he realizes what it is. And when he does, he can't seem to _not_ hear it. Even when he sits in his kitchen he can hear the squeaking of Stiles’ bed – because that's what it is, Stiles’ bed is squeaking as he and Scott move in it.

It's awful.

Sometimes Derek can hear them groan or swear, sometimes saying things like "take that, you fucker", which Derek thinks is quite a weird thing to say during sex but not even that turns him off from Stiles. Nor does the fact that Stiles quite obviously is taken.

Once Derek sees a dark haired girl come in alongside Scott and then he gets to listen to the bed squeak for hours. He wonders if they'd be willing to accept his company – they seem to be fine with sharing each other with the girl at least – and spends quite a few nights imagining this (though to be honest, Scott is never really featured in his fantasies more than in the beginning when he says that of course Derek can do whatever he wants to Stiles, and in the end when real Derek and fantasy Stiles are spent, then Scott admits that Derek suits Stiles so much better than he does so he leaves Stiles in Derek's loving care).

The next time he and Boyd are sophisticated and philosophical (read: drunk off their asses) he tells Boyd about his ~~crush~~ ~~infatuation~~ ~~boner~~ admiration for Stiles and how he'd even agree to a threesome with Scott if it meant he'd get to touch and kiss Stiles.

“Dude, you've got it bad,” Boyd snorts. Boyd only ever calls anyone dude when he's drunk.

“Dude,” he turns to Erica, “we can have a practice threesome with him.”

Correction: Boyd calls everyone – including his wife – dude when he’s drunk.

Neither Derek nor Boyd remembers this conversation in the morning. At least not until Erica – fresh and feeling amazing now that her morning sickness and the first trimester have passed – tells them about it as they curl up on opposite sides of Derek's couch, nursing nauseas and headaches. Erica seems totally fine with having a threesome with her husband and Derek.

“I'm not jealous,” Boyd says.

Which is how Derek ends up agreeing to his first, but hopefully not last (as this is supposed to be a practice round), threesome.

“And we don't have to worry about me getting pregnant and not knowing who the father is,” Erica says.

Derek shares a slightly confused look with Boyd. He's pretty sure they'd manage to tell if the kid had a black or a white father. Boyd seems to agree with his sentiment, but neither of them says anything to Erica.

They agree to be at Derek's place, starting out on the couch. Derek and Boyd sit side by side as Erica straddles a thigh of each man. She begins kissing Boyd and Derek knows that maybe he should watch, get turned on. But what once was a teenage fantasy of his has now become some kind of real nightmare. What the fuck has he agreed to? He probably won't be able to get his dick up at all.

Erica turns to him and he presses their lips together so he won't have to think.

Objectively, it's a good kiss.

Subjectively, it feels mechanical, technical. Like a kissing lesson. Lean your head to the left. Open your mouth. Let your tongue get a feel of the other person's tongue.

They break apart and Derek stares at Erica, who stares back, looking just as much unwilling as Derek.

“This won't work,” Derek is the one to say first.

“Thank god!” Erica exclaims. “Don't get me wrong, but I think of you as a brother. It was so weird.”

“Totally,” Boyd agrees.

Erica snuggles in between the two men and they watch a movie instead.

It might have been weird, but Derek thinks the failed attempt at a threesome made them closer.

A few days later Erica says that just because their threesome failed doesn't mean Derek won't be able to have a threesome with Stiles and Scott. He's attracted to Stiles, so that part will work at least, right? Boyd hums in agreement.

She might be right, Derek thinks.

As fate would have it, Derek's anxiety over how the fuck he should ask his neighbor if he and his boyfriend would want to have a threesome is unnecessary. He meets stiles and Scott just outside the apartment building and they exchange pleasantries as they climb the stairs. Outside Derek's door Stiles hesitates and Derek does too.

“Would you want to join us?” Stiles asks. “Me and Scott. You've probably heard us already, the old neighbor who lived in your apartment complained about us being too loud all the time. We tried keeping it down but it's so hard. You might as well join in on the fun, right?”

It's the worst pickup line Derek's ever heard – and he waited tables at a shabby gay bar in college. The worst thing is, it's working.

The timing could've been better though.

“I haven't showered,” he says earnestly.

He feels disgusting, which is not how he wants to feel if he’s going to get naked with Stiles. And Scott.

“I don’t mind,” Stiles says and Scott shrugs.

“Sometimes we won’t shower for days,” Scott reveals and even if Derek minds, they don’t seem to listen but just somehow manage to get him up the extra flight of stairs and into Stiles’ apartment.

“Want something to drink? I’m having a beer,” Stiles says. “And Scott a coke.”

“Sure, beer’s fine,” Derek says. His hands are clammy and his mouth is dry. Maybe some alcohol will help with his nerves.

Stiles’ apartment is built the same way as Derek’s. The bedroom being behind the living room and the kitchen to the left. Stiles pats his arm as he kicks off his shoes. Derek follows his example and thinks that soon he won’t be wearing anything. He should be feeling excitement, but all he feels is anxiousness. He hasn’t even showered!

Scott leads him to the bedroom.

"And this is where the magic happens," Scott grins. "If you want to, you can watch me and Stiles the first few rounds?"

“Sure,” Derek nods. Watching Stiles sounds great.

“Wait, first few?” Derek's eyes might just pop out of his head.

Scott gives him a confused look.

“Yeah, we can go for hours.”

“Once we went at it for a week straight. A summer break in high school. Scott's mom was out of town so we bunkered up in Scott's room the whole week.”

Stiles has come into the room without Derek noticing.

“A week?”

“We slept of course,” Scott butts in.

“Yeah, remember?” Stiles' smile would closest be described as fond. “When you fell asleep right during it? I don't think we showered at all that week. Your mom was so pissed when she got home. Man, the smell!”

They laugh and Derek feels nauseous. They've known each other for so long. Stiles won't ever look at Derek the way Derek looks at him. This was a stupid idea.

“I’m sorry, I don't think I can do this.”

The two men's expressions go from amused to confused in no time.

“What? Why?” Scott asks.

“You two obviously know each other very well. It doesn't feel right.”

“Doesn't feel right? Why? Did we do something wrong?” Stiles looks hurt and Derek wants to tell him it’s fine.

“No, you're great. Both of you. Very hot, very… doable. It's just... I don't think I can have a threesome. Not with anyone, I thought I could.”

“Threesome?!” Scott squeals, his voice an octave higher than usual.

The other two have suddenly grown very still and very pale.

“We were talking about playing video games,” Scott says meekly, brandishing the controller around – and couldn't Derek have noticed he had picked that one up a little sooner? Like, before he opened his mouth.

“I'm just gonna...” He motions at the door and leaves without either man protesting.

The moment he gets home, he's going to find a new home as far away as possible. He's by the door, putting on his shoes when Stiles calls his name.

Stiles stands a few feet away from him, his cheeks are a pretty pink but nothing compared to the color of Derek's own face, he's sure.

“Why did you think we invited you to a threesome?”

Derek winces and doesn't meet stiles eyes.

“I don't know.”

“Come on, tell me. I need to know if you're offering yourself up for all your neighbors or if I'm just special.”

“I... Well, there was this one time with Erica and Boyd...”

Why is he telling Stiles this?!

“Oh my god!” Stiles’ mouth falls open.

“But nothing happened!”

Stiles gives him a confused and rather curious look. Derek is not telling him that story, no matter how cute he looks.

“It was just to prepare me for you and Scott.”

Why is he suddenly being way too honest? Why can’t he suddenly just keep his mouth shut? He’s never had problems with staying quiet before.

“What? Why?”

“Because I wanted to... With the two of you.”

With you, he doesn't say.

“What? Why?” Stiles repeats and then Derek can see understanding dawning on his face. “Oh. _Oh._ You like...? Scott's taken.”

“I know that,” Derek says. “But it's not Scott.”

Stiles looks confused again – he's basically looked confused ever since Derek opened his big mouth.

“Me? But why...? Why would you need Scott there?”

“I'm not letting you cheat on him.”

“Cheat? What?”

Stiles mouth forms a perfect O as he stares at Derek. The next moment he's doubling over, laughing.

“Oh my god! Scott's my best friend. We're not- He's not- I'm single.”

“Oh.”

Derek doesn't know what else to say. If he ever did have a chance with Stiles he's ruined it now.

“Well, I'm sorry for... Everything.”

Derek turns and pushes the door opened.

“Does that include not inviting me out, too?”

“What?”

It's Derek’s turn to look confused now.

“Are you sorry for not asking me out? ‘Cause I am.”

Derek's heart might stop in his chest. Is Stiles saying what Derek thinks he's saying?

“I don't know if I'm interpreting this right,” Derek says carefully. “Lately I've interpreted things really wrong.”

Stiles lips twitch.

“I'm asking if you'd like to go out with me. And maybe have a twosome sometimes?”

Stiles cheeks flush and Derek's been having a rough day, he's not to be blamed for crossing the floor and pulling Stiles’ body flush against his and pressing their lips together. Stiles makes a noise in his throat and gives just as good as he gets.

Turns out, having sex on Stiles' bed makes it squeak way more and louder than just sitting on it playing videogames and following the curves the car on the screen takes. Luckily for them Derek's bed barely makes a sound. Stiles does though. Derek loves it.


End file.
